Relationships are hard things to keep together. The years, months, and days can go by, even minutes, and something or someone, could step in and ruin them. It could be insecurities, trust, or it could be absolutely nothing but a real platonic friend.
Prime Example: Things could be going well at home, but because of insecurities or jealousy on your part, or something as simple as your man/girl, having a "best" or "close" friend of the opposite sex. In your mind, it could cause harm, or cause you to think there is potential harm. This may very well be true, and in some cases it may not, use it at your own discretion.
Reasons Why You May Feel This Way: There is a possibility the "friend" could be chillin' in the cut, waiting for things to mess up at home, so they can step in. It could also be possible that this friend is the one that your significant other runs to when you have a disagreement at home. Sometimes these action would allow those of the opposite sex TOOOOOOOO close, and this can potentially damage your relationship. Everybody claims they have so much self-control, and aren't "that stupid", to slip up and cheat, etc. But at the end of the day, nobody is monitoring you, or with you every waking moment of your life, so it is possible, for someone to "go in for the kill" or "slide right in" under your/your significant other's nose without intent.
The Role Of the Significant Other: Trust is very important in a relationship. Most times all we have is the word of our significant other. There could be times when your man/woman is texting another female/male right under your nose. It could be a dangerous or straight friendship checking on one another, but you will truly never know, that's why you have to have trust, (Of course, unless you are the crazy stalker type). Your man/woman could also, be e-mailing, chatting, Myspace, Facebookin', etc., this other person and you not know. They have many access modes of communication going on. As the other half, you should make sure flirting is kept to a minimum, preferably none at all!, but it's second nature for some guys to have a slick tongue, we can't knock that unless we cuttin' tongues out..LOL but that's crazy :-). If you are going to be in relationships, it's best to have some form of discipline, self-control, and responsibility. Don't make your significant other look like the fool, by giving the other chick, or dude the upper hand and allowing them to come into you personally, and share a secret that only you two know. That sets yourself up for destruction in the end. We all know karma is a b*&ch, and what is done in the dark does come out on the light! If you do something, no matter how hard you try to cover it up, it will backfire. So just stay real, and be true to you and your significant other. If not, just be single and do whatever and not care. Life would be much easier in that case.
The Platonic Friend who is in a relationship: If you have a platonic friend of the opposite sex who is involved with someone, this can also, allow you or your spouse to think that b/c of this you would never do anything with that person. Well this can be a lie to yourself, and to your significant other. This type of platonic friend, could be the best one to have if you have plans to "mess up". They take less maintenance and you won't have to talk to, or see them often; other than the occasional encounters. In this case, I feel like no matter what, all calls, texts, chats, messages, etc, even to a platonic friend of the opposite sex in a relationship, should be kept to a minimum. Spend that time with your significant other building on your relationship, and not "giving" yourself to someone else.
Reassurance: Your man/woman can prove to you that they go through loops and holes to show you they love, care, want, and appreciate only you. This may very well be true, but if you are one that doesn't like your significant other having platonic friends of the opposite sex, regardless of this reassurance, you can question that. It may not be your spouse that you don't trust, it could just be THEM! The best thing is to just pray about it, and let the trust guide you and the progress of the relationship. Nobody sees everything that's going on, and at times all you have is "their word".
My Belief: I believe that at times platonic friends are great things, having the perspective from the opposite sex can benefit because you can get advice or examples that can help to improve your own relationship. We are a different species and we tend to think only our way, instead of seeing both sides to it. I know I have great times with my friends of the opposite sex, and nothing comes out of it, except pure fun, and laughter, nothing fishy, or worth questioning. I believe that introducing your friends to your significant other, and maybe explaining the extent of the relationship can smooth things over. I believe that it is healthy to have friends of the opposite sex, as long as you are disciplined enough to keep those boundaries up and keep it on the friend level. I don't think ANY platonic friend is worth loosing what's at home, if what you have at home is good for you, and you can see a future with that person. It's all about self-control, and if you don't have any, get some! or pray for some, both work wonders. If nobody else is listening, the LORD is that's for sure.
In the end: I know what I am to my man and that means a lot more to me, than who his female friends are/were to him. They just need to know their roles and respect that was well, if not then that's where problems arise. It takes a strong person to have that will power, that security, that love, and trust each and everything from their significant other.
Love is hard, relationships are hard, especially if you've been through a horrible one or even a few horrible ones. It can cause you to loose all these things. I find my source of strength from praying, and communication, it's all I can do, and leave the rest to him.
Did you ever feel like a platonic friendship could potentially threaten your relationship?
2 comments:
I think that it is possible to have platonic friends and it is ridiculous to expect your mate not to have friends of the opposite sex. However, there is a code of ethics that should be established between you and your significant other. Each person should expect that the other is respecting that code, no matter what!
You took the words out of my mouth... literally. Who you are to me is more than they were or will ever be and if all you have is my word, then trust that you can take that to the bank. And, every friend isn't a threat. But, if your significant other goes out of his/her way to try to hide the relationship between them then its a clear signal that you should investigate.
As complex as it may seem, its really quite simple. Trust is the name of the game! You don't have to trust the "friends" but you do have to trust your significant other. If you have any reason not to trust your significant other, then you need to evade that relationship because its headed down the toilet. Save yourself the embarrassment and the heartache .
I agree, and you have helped me with this one. Thanks babe. I love you.
Post a Comment